I'm tired

I’m tired. I’m tired of looking around aimlessly for sources of peace, masks to hide the struggles, the pain, the vicious circle of thoughts. I’m tired of searching for something that can’t even be seen. Im tired of fighting my struggles solitarily. Im tired of the pain of trying to silent those torments inside me in return for a second or even a minute of peace of not feeling as if I’m about to lose it all. Im tired of the everyday toiling of my mind to search for reasons to believe in something good once again, in something more than just good. Im tired of pretending all’s okay when it seems not. Im tired of struggling to escape, as the ache in my head slowly reaches all my limbs. Im tired of running after consistency. I am tired of waiting for it to all make sense. I have tired all of my limbs now, day by day, growing even more weary. why doesnt it come to me itself? why doesn’t it all fall in place already? just a little more time.

just a little more patience.

maybe just a little more while.

and I’ll be at peace.

and it’ll all fall into place.

and I’ll know why.